• Racquel Foran, Publisher

Be Kind to Yourself

You can't do it all, so don't beat yourself up when you don't!

Goals are good! We need to set goals for ourselves to ensure that we continue to move forward with our lives in a positive way. But it is important to remember to be kind to yourself when you miss a deadline, or don't achieve what you planned in the time you had hoped. There are all kinds of reasons we don't quite reach our goals. That does not mean we never will, nor does it mean we shop stop trying. It just means shit happened and that shit interfered with the shit you had planned.

My goal when I finally had the courage to launch the Midlife Madness blog, was to write at least one blog post a week. This is the second time in two short months that I have missed that goal. I am not going to beat up on myself too badly though. I am a freelance writer by profession, and I am currently editing/ghostwriting a motivational book. I spend 7.5 hours a day in my office working on the book. In addition to Midlife Madness, I also write a blog about camper van adventures with my husband, Van Helen Vanventures. I write both this blog and the Van Helen blog in my non-working hours. Last week I wrote two blog posts for Van Helen so Midlife Madness was neglected. Because yup, you read that right, I spend all day every day writing for work, and then in my leisure time I write as a hobby. Making up for years of lost time I suppose!

Now I could count missing my self-imposed deadline as a failure and berate myself for not doing what I said I would do. Or, instead I can acknowledge that all the writing I do right now is about building my content and exposure as a writer. It is all equally important. So as long as I am writing, I am succeeding. It is not reasonable for me to think that I can spend 30+ hours a week writing for a client and then spend another 10+ writing for my two blogs without getting the occasional bout of writer's block, research fatigue, or creative frustration. These things are all part of being a writer.

So instead of being hard on myself, I sat down and wrote this blog. Because this is the point of Midlife Madness. To be honest about the times that I am struggling in an effort to open the door for other women to be honest about the times they are struggling. But also to give hope. Life is hard. There are a lot of ups and downs. I have no desire to infest people with "toxic positivity," but I do want to wash away the toxic negativity. Especially negative self-talk!

I could spend the day today toiling away at my computer feeling like I have to finish the blog I had actually planned to publish last week on Midlife Madness, write another blog for Van Helen Vanventures, and start research for my next writing contract, while also counting the other "to dos" on my writing list. But instead I choose to enjoy this glorious April day. It is 24 degrees in Greater Vancouver today. I worked hard Monday through Thursday to complete my weekly writing assignment for my client so that I would not have to work today, Friday. I did not know about the new writing contract when I made the choice not to work today. The new contract should be cause for celebration, not a reason to punish myself by denying myself the day off I was rewarding myself with. And I know the Van Helen blog can wait. So I will finish off the last few words of this and enjoy the reward I set for myself.

I am flushing the negative self-talk from my life. I am choosing to be kind to myself even when I think I did not measure up. I encourage you all to do the same. If you aren't kind to yourself, how can you expect anyone else to be?

About this Blog


Welcome to Midlife Madness. This is something I have wanted to do for years; that is, write a blog about what life is REALLY like. I have always been too cowardly to pursue this though. I was so worried that my honesty would hurt the people I love most, I simply did not want to try and pursue it.

But a lot has changed over the past few years, both for me personally as well as around the world in general, so the idea has been festering again.

A few years ago one of my daughters started blogging; she  had never considered herself a writer. I on however, have always  considered myself one, but I didn't start calling myself a professional until after I graduated from a college writing program in 2007. You can do the math there... 14 years since I graduated, and I am only now mustering the courage to do what I have been told to do all along - write about what I know best. My daughter on the other hand just started doing it!

So, I am finally going for it. The plan is to write a raw, honest account of what is like to live the life of a daughter / sister/ wife  / mother / grandmother who is in middle age+. All life's joy and laughter, all its challenges and changes, and all the hopeful dreams and ugly realities. I hope what I share makes you laugh, cry, and rage. And I hope it opens up conversations between family members in a positive way. Finally, I hope it makes me feel I little less crazy while navigating all life's madness!

#midlilfe madness

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